Every once in a while I start feeling like I want to rebel against what I’m doing, even though I’m the only one that suffers from the rebellion. I’ve been trying to figure out why I do this. Ultimately I realize things are just too complicated right now, which is making me want to throw my hands in the air and quit everything. So it’s time to make a change.
Since my diagnosis of EoE and my meeting with an allergist last December (who showed a lot of concern about this), I have been beyond stressed out. I’ve been omitting dairy and I am really struggling with it. All the decent tasting dairy free items are not low carb and have added sugar. And in order to not be constantly ravenous, I have to stay under 50g of carbohydrates a day because It’s impossible to stick to a 1,100 calorie diet otherwise. If I go above 1,100 calories, I stop losing weight. As it is, I’m lucky to pull off a 0.5 lb loss per week. On top of this, I already have omitted gluten and peanuts from my diet due to an allergy, and this limits my options even further. Also, did I mention I absolutely LOVE cheese? Being low carb is tolerable for me because cheese is low carb. My second favorite food staple is bread, which I’ve already given up due to the gluten allergy so I’m finding it even harder to give up cheese.
So what should I change? I think I need to talk to my allergist again and come up with a different timeline of an elimination diet and repeat endoscopy. Here’s why: Eight months of pregnancy with bed rest and nonstop vomiting (Hyperemesis gravidarum) combined with constant pain (SPD and prodromal labor), then caring for a newborn, then surgery to remove a thyroglossal duct cyst from my neck, a hospital stay (gallbladder blockage), endoscopy, ESG, gallbladder removal surgery, endoscopy and ESG revision all within 6 months and I’m just WORN OUT! It has just been too much, and putting more on myself by restricting my diet even further with more elimination right now just doesn’t seem like the right answer. So for now, until my allergist appointment in April, I’m going to reduce dairy protein, but not stress out about it (if I really want cheese, I’m having cheese). Then I’m going to find out if I can put the whole elimination diet thing on hold until next year (or until I can mentally handle it and have taken off all my weight). I feel like I should be able to handle it all at once, but looking at the timeline of it all, I’m starting to understand why I’m feeling so incredibly overwhelmed. At this point something has to give, and I refuse for it to be focusing on weight loss that gives. That is my number 1 health priority right now.
Sometimes writing it all out in a blog post can be therapeutic and help me figure out what I need to do. So for those listening to my whining today, thanks! 😉
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